Learning to Let Go or Drama; How I Loves Ya, How I Loves Ya

Okay, I admit it. I’m a drama queen. But let’s face it, what Actor isn’t? It goes with the territory. The only difference is which particular drama you choose to play out can either win you admiration, sympathy or outright abuse-and each one can get different results for different actors. Now it’s your turn. Think about it, don’t you have a touch of drama in your life that keeps you challenged and you’d miss if it was completely resolved? Of course you do or else life would be boring as all get out. Sure, sometimes there’s an over abundance and it feels nice to get away from it but in those cases, what’s the first thing we do? Pick up a book or watch a movie that has drama in it!

Part of what I’m doing with my life right now though is changing that-not getting rid of it, just changing what follows it. I can’t figure out exactly where or when I learned to view life in black or white terms; “if I don’t get this role my life is worthless – or – if I get dumped again that’s it, I’m never having another relationship” but every so often I tend to believe all my eggs are in one basket. What I’m trying to learn is that, even if all the eggs are in one basket and that basket should fall and break, I can pick up the pieces and re-weave the basket and go find another chicken. There will always be more eggs and other baskets.

Now, every performer has their own way of dealing with the stress that comes between an audition and the verdict. And of course, many (if not most) directors/producers/theaters never notify the ones who don’t get the job, we just have to wait till the production dates have come and gone and figure it out for ourselves. The problem with that is that the longer you have to wait, and the bigger the role/show/paycheck, the stress is that much more intense. When I was younger I developed the habit of not telling anyone about any auditions I had. That way, not only was I not reminded of it as much by people asking ‘how’d it go?’ but I could walk away feeling like there was less on the line; I wouldn’t have to face other peoples’ disappointment if I didn’t get it. (yeah, yeah, I know; dysfunctional childhood, blah, blah, blah)

(to be continued)