One of Those Days....

So I went to the premier of "The Whole Truth" at SIFF last night and was going to have to pay $11 for a rush ticket (my role was very small) but Rik Deskin who, with Cara Anderson-Ahrens gave me such a wonderful experience playing Claudius/Hamlet's Ghost to Rik's Hamlet last year, had a 2-person Sponsor pass and his wife hadn't been able to make it so he took me in with him. The Director, Colleen Patrick, and the Stars; Elizabeth Rohm, Sean Patrick Flannery, Rick Overton and John Fugelsang were all there and at least Colleen and Rick nodded hello to me. They had a pre-screening party to which I was not invited but had to crash because the hair person, Lacey, had given me two vouchers to buy a ticket for her and myself as a thank you for standing in line and buying hers while she was at the party but after she left they announced that it was cash only and I didn't have enough cash for two tickets so had to give her back her vouchers. Everyone smiled at me but it was awkward.

Anyway, Rik and I were the first ones into the theater and being a local SAG representative, Rik knew lots of people who stopped to talk as they came in and that helped keep my mind occupied till the film started. It was funny, could have been better in regards to editing and timing but Colleen made some really interesting directing choices and I think Elizabeth could have a real future in screwball comedy. Do they even make those any more? Besides this one I mean.

It was kind of hard to stay objectively focused on the film since I was tense about my scene-three days of filming, ripping my scalp open-I wanted it to be worth it all. It wasn't. I sucked. No, really. I sucked so bad you could feel it creating a vacuum in the theater. I can't believe they didn't just edit me out entirely.

Now mind you, I had already had quite the day. The State Farm representative for the girl I rear-ended in March called and left a message saying they heard from my insurance company that I wasn't covered at the time and that they'll be expecting full reimbursement for both the property and personal injury claims (she just went to her Doctor the next week to get checked out but wasn't actually hurt). I actually laughed when I heard the message, I mean, can you say "blood from a stone"? I'm going to write them a letter explaining the situation and see how they respond.
Then I checked my bank balance online and discovered my debt negotiation payment that I had stopped for this month (it's on automatic deduction unless I stop it) was deducted anyway leaving me-including the overdraft fee-over $300 overdrawn. So I called the company and they looked it up and admitted that it was their fault and would be refunding it but I would have to fax them something from the bank showing the overdraft charge so I could get that back. Okay....
Then I looked at my calendar and realized that I had missed my therapy appointment this week and, while minor compared to the other things, it was just the bit too much, you know? The proverbial straw that broke this camel's back? So, wanting to get through the rest of the day and see the film, I took a Lorazepam (anti-anxiety sedative) and washed it down with a shot of my raisin liqueur...side note; a while back an actress had told me that her vocal coach recommended eating a couple of gin-soaked raisins prior to warm-ups and/or performances so I loosely filled a jam jar with raisins and filled it with Bombay Sapphire, let it soak for a few weeks, drained the excess liquid off and voila! raisin liqueur!...didn't feel any better as the time to leave approached so I took a second Lorazepam and washed it down with another shot. While this truly mellowed me out and relieved the anxiety, I never seem to remember until afterwards that alcohol-especially combined with sedatives-cause me to have a serious depressive reaction.
I was so upset and sad as I walked back from the movie that I was nauseous by the time I got home. When I did, I didn't even put together the wet spot where Annachie had been lying on my bed with the wet spot from earlier in the day. But I did put them all together when I saw another one this morning. He's not actually urinating but he is leaking. Instantly I thought of my dog Sluggo many years ago who had bladder cancer-except he had never been neutered and Annachie has-but it doesn't matter because whether it's last stage cancer or the most minor of urinary tract irritations, I have no way of getting treatment for him. I still owe over $3,000.00 on his surgery from last year.

While we standing in the rush ticket line, Natasha Sims (a truly fan-fucking-tastic actress that I was in "Ordinary Angels" with) and I were discussing books and after I had described a series to her she told me that I was a good story teller. That was nice....